dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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