shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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