I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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