i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
