worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
