i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
