we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize