I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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