why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
