Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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