whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
