Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
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You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
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The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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