I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
