maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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