You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
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