How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
