the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
