oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
