If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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