That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize