I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
