to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
