He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
