so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize