So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
