I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize