In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We have started to decorate penises.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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