so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
