We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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