so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
