so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
