and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
how drunk are you?
Several
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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