dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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