her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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