I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
