Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
