Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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