if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
