please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize