you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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