Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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