So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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