did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
