Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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