yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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