She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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