It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
