i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
