hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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