I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
