Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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