normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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