Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
