If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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