Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
