you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize